For the 99% of Raleigh Craigslist surfers who would never ever post in missed connections, navigating that portion of the site for a potential secret admirer is like wading through an ocean of piss: endless YMCA m4m posts, insecure creepers outing themselves (”I wanted to approach you, but didn’t want to seem weird”), ex’s anonymously spewing all sorts of emotional garbage, etc. It goes on forever.

It takes a lot to get noticed on MC. But recently, an anonymous 29-year old male managed to punch through the wall of shit with his asinine asshat “poetry.”

It’s all the same (that is to say: shitty), it’s all boring, and the man’s chances of being published are about as good as Joe Wilson’s getting re-elected. One Cary resident finally had enough:

To which the Poet immediately, hilariously, lamely, responded. Wow: big words! Even more hilarious were the commenters who couldn’t wait to suck this loser’s cock jumped to the Poet’s defense:

http://raleigh.craigslist.org/mis/1370665095.html

“Our situation and its implications remain unchanged but I nonetheless feel I must give you your props:

Well-made missive to the Ill-Mannered and Angstified Cary-ite; your post was spot-on and sharply funny, too. Shame you don’t always save that (and your destructive “mores”) for defense against strictly unprovoked offense, but it’s a start.

Changes nothing, including the hue of your hat and the quietly-being-met objectives set elsewhere (only a last-minute bid on your part can do that, but such is not in the least expected – this is not an offer of negotiation; those are all done and I’m fresh out of olive branches), but still:

Kudos to ye; sincere Bravo here.

ps: How about a poem passing out some well-deserved props to your (other-not-me) supporters (some of whom composed witty and excellent replies of their own)? I think they deserve some acknowledgment, too…don’t you?”

Angling for “props”? Really?

http://raleigh.craigslist.org/mis/1369374844.html

“don’t be blunt & brutal–think of the damage such has caused in the world, or in your own life.

there’s nothing harmful about someone posting their poetry, and not everyone thinks the poems are so bad. if you don’t like them, don’t read them. maybe one day you will cultivate an appreciation for that which others value, even if you cannot value it for yourself.

and, for the record, this is not the poet.”

Lame.

The worst offender: http://raleigh.craigslist.org/mis/1370284851.html

“Obviously you’ve already received support for your poetry. I just wanted to say how much I admired your own defense. Your level of sarcastic wit is god-like.”

(makes dick going in and out of mouth gesture)

The comments remind me of that line in Finding Forrester about how “women will sleep with you even if you write a bad book.” Apparently it extends to the Interweb world as well.