Like any true alky, I love this website. Outrageous behavior tersely packed into something like:

(678): I read the report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update fbook. No way you get out of a DUI.

or:

(757): i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, “what the fuckkkk” everytime it didnt work

Even if you personally have never been so wasted you used your driver’s license at an ATM, you can’t help but laugh. The site’s viral popularity leads me to believe a book deal isn’t that far off, and that worries me, considering a search of our area code yielded some less-than-spectacular gems:

(919): I just heard a mom tell her toddler son “shut the fuck up. Don’t ask me to buy you shit when i’m taking u to go see some fucking animals” welcome to the bronx.

This is the perfect example of every NCSU dropout trying to justify spending $1200 a month for a shoebox in Brooklyn to the friends back home. “New York’s so CRAZYYYYYYYYYY!!!!”

(919): just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe

(919): It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn’t want to touch with my mouth

(919): Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.

(919): Things I’ve learned: after you move in with a girl it’s much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they’re your sheets too

(336): he started yelling “squirt for me” then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
(919): i’m not really understanding how she couldn’t figure out it was him

(919): The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It’s going to be a fucking fantastic day.

Gross, gross, gross, gross, gross, GROSS. What’s with all the crass sexual/scat humor? No wonder Tucker Max loved it here so much.

(919): i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
(617): he’d just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich[sic].

Topical. And stupid.

(919): Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.

Okay, that’s kind of funny. More like this!

(919): i’m watching the fashion show on bravo
(262): you’re cheating on project runway?
(919): if you can’t score coke, you buy crack.

Damn. Lost it again.

Right now Raleigh’s really earning its rep as the fifth most sober city. Do we need to drag the whole Triangle to the Jackpot?