State Fair’s over, dude! Thus ends the 10 day ritual of 9:45 smoke breaks because there’s no way you’re hearing whatever the fuck’s on your TV. This year’s fair set attendance records, which, awesome, but the record was sullied by one group whose insistence on promoting...

One day, we’ll discuss the merits of a culture so steeped in vanity that everyone’s chief concern is how good they look in a digital camera picture. Mix that with total apathy regarding the “gamble” of health-care. Not today. Dude, from Apex: He is a leader to more than 1.4 million...

When we last left him, the Craigslist Poet was in a bad way. For a while he had been on top of the world, seeing raleigh.craigslist.org/mis/ as his own personal “Dear Diary.” But then, cue the VH1 “Behind The Music” ominous tone, then one day things hit rock bottom. The inevitable...

It started a little while ago. Your boy was reading the Village Voice’s fantastic Rightbloggers, where the topic du jour was braining Obama over his “foreign policy crisis” Chicago Olympics “failure.” This particular non-troversy proved to be a real chance to unload, bookended...

Be warned, dear reader: discussing the rationale behind the Downtown Raleigh Alliance mentioning hipster 128 times in its 109-page retail strategy will tax the strongest of minds. It calls for a real herculean effort. Why? Because the search for answers requires something that is anathema to all of society:...

You might think it gauche for the N&O to spend time and money on revamping their Internet presence while offering buyouts to their employees. Not the best of ideas, even with atrocious ad revenue. Maybe you’d even go so far as to say it’s a poor idea in general, with this toilet economy,...

Yeah, you’re tired. You never really got the interest in all the ad infinitum parodies, nor do you understand why a simple “Who gives a fuck about the MTV Video Music awards??!” didn’t suffice. Out there in the universe, a celebrity empathized with your irritation. This man,...

Raleigh, you have about 50 or so protesting outside the WRAL offices on Western this afternoon. Inches from the pavement, with a fresh stick off the Retard Tree firmly lodged in their rectum, these human posteriors promoted their puerile promulgations to passers-by (Maybe I should have just used “dumbasses”...

On yesterday’s Daily Show, Jon Stewart had a segment about Al Franken’s first bill in the Senate. From The Huffington Post: In 2005, Jamie Leigh Jones was gang-raped by her Halliburton/KBR co-workers while working in Iraq and locked in a shipping container for over a day to prevent her from...

My eyes never get THAT big.